Anger management can be resolved many ways depending on the nature of the problem. Generally speaking anger is a form of communication (sometimes effective, but often counter-productive) and occurs when someone has run out of choices of more effective ways to state their case or get the message across. So they ‘explode’.
Sometimes this occurs when the individual is not coping with ongoing stress, is full of adrenalin and too close to that flashpoint. In which case we reduce the stress Link to stress mgt. page? to leave the person in a calm resourceful state. Other times anger can be caused by a person getting into the habit of ‘sweating the small stuff’, so when the ‘big stuff’ comes around they have nowhere left to go. We would then want to change those internal strategies, or generalisations, exaggerated beliefs and perceptions which whip up the emotions so that the person operates in a more positive and level way to meet those challenges.
Taking tempers can also be unconsciously learnt by copying significant others who behave in this way. Sometimes it can be as a result of a person lacking assertiveness skills to communicate what they want, and the frustration combined with the urgency to get the message through leads to a flashpoint. Or when temper is mainly directed at one specific individual or group then often there can be an underlying, unresolved issue which is generating anger, and surfaces (with an explosion) with issues which are not even related to the original problem.
The solution in each case is to give the individual the tools to communicate more effectively. One premise of NLP is that a successful communication is one which generates the desired response in the person with whom you are communicating. And exploding with rage normally does not achieve this. So sometimes the solution involves enhancing communication skills:
At the HPC we can quickly find out how the process works, the triggers, underlying assumptions perhaps, the ideas which intensify the emotions and leads to the unwanted behaviour. And once we understand it we change it.
Contact us now and book a session:
freephone 0800 454 770.
I used to say, "I sure hope things will change." Then I learned that the only way things are going to change
for me is when I change.
Jim Rohn
An example of a related problem dealt with by the Human Performance Clinic in recent months:
Male, 25 years. Violent behaviour towards girlfriend, temper, lack of confidence. Patient was tasked to loose temper deliberately once a day, Taught self-hypnosis, relaxation, etc. Beliefs changed ("she does it just to wind me up").
Changework done to generate new strategies for communication. Regular improvement over course of five sessions. [more]